Pals I Remember
by George Albert Leddy
(December 25, 1947)

'Twas the day before Christmas, and what do you think?
Well, Gilbert suggested, "We should have a drink."
But money was scarce, and good whiskey was high;
But what th' hell, Bill, when your throttle is dry.

So, I pulled out a smacker, and he did the same.
Then Scaffer suggested, he get in the game.
But we told him, "No," and it wasn't a bluff;
For he acts like a jackass when he drinks the stuff.

Then Joe came along, and we asked him about it;
And he says, "Why sure fellows, we can't do without it."
Well, he wiggled around, he unbuttoned his collar,
Stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a dollar.

Then Holcumb came round with a sort-of a grin,
And said he'd donate if we'd let him come in.
And we knew him of old, so we did not quite dare;
We remembered he always drank more than his share.

Then Charlie came round, and he looked kind'a tired
From the coal he had heaved, as the boilers he'd fired.
So we gave him a drink, and 'twas no more than right
For we knew when he had it he never was tight.

Now, Fred is a fellow, and I'm here to say;
He'll pay for good whiskey and give it away.
I can't understand how such things can be done;
But the way that he did it, we had plenty of fun.

Now there's Leroy, and Ralph, and Eddie, and Jerry;
They never indulge, but they always are merry.
Well now, about Eddie, I may not be right,
For well I remember I saw him one night;

And it sure makes me tremble to think of it now,
That son-of-a-sea-cock ate half of a cow.
He said it was tender and suited his taste;
But on fellows like Eddie, it's only a waste.

And then there's The Major, a soldier at heart;
He'll wait on the trade, if you get him to start.
But it's hard on a fellow to make a good sale,
And do it up right when there's six on his tail.

And then there is Izzie, his hair it is red,
And when you first see him you'd think he was dead.
But give him a writ, and he'll bolt for the door.
Two dollars for Izzie - to hell with the store.

Then there is Herman, the strangest of men;
He'll tell you a joke with a sly, silly grin.
And 'though he appears like a good natured lout,
I've never found out what he's grinning about.

And then there is Robert, if anyone cares;
He got his big start by sweeping the stairs.
He is a fine fellow, with courage and pluck;
You see what it got him - he now drives a truck.

And now there is Carrol, he's new on the job;
He's out in the stockroom, successor to Bob.
He came here quite recent, we don't know him well,
But we will if we listen to the tales he can tell.

And then there's MacDonald, so pious and meek;
I never saw him, but he's taking a peek.
He likes his gals fat, that's the way that I found him.
Well, he's all set now for there's fat all around him.

There's a brand new stenog, she's so quiet and meek;
I've seen her sweet smile, but I've not heard her speak.
I'll give Quinn credit, he knows how to choose em.
I hope he'll behave himself, then he won't loose em.

And then there is Gladys, with the golden brown hair;
I never remember a maiden more fair.
I often have wished I could tell her about it,
But she'd slap me down - there's no reason to doubt it.

And then there is Marion - a sweet, little doll;
No wonder the darling is loved by us all.
And Joice is as sweet as a little baby;
The fellows all whistle when her they do see.

She's short, fat and supple, and chucked full of life;
The sort of a girl to make some man a good wife.
Now, the girls are all working, as busy as bees;
And praying to Santa: "Send me a man, will you please."

Now there's Vernon and Markus, our white-collard men;
If they loaf they get fat, so work to stay thin.
For they think themselves perfect, and don't want to change.
The way some people think, well, it sure does seem strange.

And as for myself, well, there's not much to say;
For I don't like to brag, so I think the best way
Is to wish you a future, both merry and bright.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!
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